WELL THEN

The best of the “This just got a little awkward” memes gathered together!

Written and compiled by Arthur van Pelt

ABOUT EDITS to this article: as more material might become available after publication of this article, it will have edits and updates every now and then. In that sense, this article can be considered a work in progress, to become a reference piece for years to come.

Somewhere in 2021, say about a year ago, my friend Peter Scott-Morgan (worthy of a follow on Twitter!) and the undersigned started to post memes on Twitter with the famous ‘WELL THEN’ guy commenting on the state of affairs in the Craig Wright (one of a few handfuls of Satoshi Nakamoto pretenders) and the BSV (Craig’s failing Bitcoin Cash knockoff) realm.

Here’s a selection of about 50 of them in random order, a compilation of the most liked, the most famous and anticipated, the most hilarious or otherwise remarkable ones. These ‘WELL THEN’ memes, presented without too many further comments, give a pretty extensive overview of why hardly anyone believes that Craig Wright is Bitcoin’s inventor Satoshi Nakamoto, and why his brainchild BSV — plagued by technical issues and double spend attacks — is getting no adoption unless Craig’s sugar daddy Calvin Ayre sponsors the next short-lived circle jerk. These memes will also, at times, comment on Craig Wright’s legal shenanigans.

Now go grab a popcorn, and have fun with this meme compilation!

2. “This image is made using the Bitcoin 0.1.0 Market.cpp.”

3. “Is that your signature, Dr. Wright?”

4. “ADT had a datacentre failure and lost all the records”

5. “I tried to sell Bitcoin to BDO’s Alan Granger in 2007.”

6. “The Beta of Bitcoin is live tomorrow January 11, 2009”

7. “99.99% or so of Bitcoin SV transactions are junk”

8. The origins of the Satoshi Nakamoto pseudonym

9. “100 billion tps before 2030”

10. “The Right to Run a Node”

11. “Craig didn’t create BSV.”

The reader will learn in this compilation that Kurt Wuckert Jr, a self-proclaimed ‘Bitcoin historian’ on the payroll of Calvin Ayre, is an endless source of hilarity with his stupid mistakes and silly conspiracy theories. He’s often caught lying about simple historical facts too. Therefore, he’s regularly called the ‘Bitcoin hysterian’.

12. “Microsoft patch Tuesday, released January 13, 2009, made my Bitcoin network reboot on January 3, 2009.”

13. “Craig will win all his cases now.” I

14. “There is a courtoom where this can happen.”

15. “The dark forces of MasterCard”

16. The “Craig touch”

17. “Bitcoin is not Cryptocurrency.”

18. “I Am the Real Satoshi”

19. “Bitcoin is set in stone”

20. “We control what is all up a little over 1 million Bitcoin.”

21. “You can’t actually have stable sound money if every two minutes you fork something off”

22. “DHS funded the research”

23. “There won’t be any BTC at the end of next year.”

24. “There are no pictures of me ever wearing a hoodie”

25. “Criminal sanctions this year against these con men.”

26. The GnuPG 2.0.20 Incident

27. “I am a lawyer”

28. “Epstein was paying the salary of Wladimir Van Der Laan for years.”

29. “When I released Bitcoin in 2010”

30. “Bitcoin was never released using the Cypherpunks mailing lists”

31. “Craig will win all his cases now.” II

When Craig Wright lost the Kleiman v Wright lawsuit in December 2021, and was ordered to pay a penalty of a whopping $100 million for illegal IP conversion (and a few months later $43 million in pre-judgment interest was added)…

32. The BSV PacMan graph meme destroyed

33. “We can reach 5 million daily transaction ASAP”

34. The Bitcoin hysterian once more

35. “A convicted criminal”

36. “3 to 4 nodes is sufficiently decentralized. Nodes create blocks.”

37. “Freezing coins is a breach of fiduciary duty”

38. BSV nodes keep dropping

39. “Basically, I lie to people for a living.”

40. Bitcoin hysterian: “Dave Kleiman was the biggest miner”

41. “The protocol shouldn’t be changed for coins to move w/o keys.”

42. Kurt Wuckert Jr: A specific kind of stupid

43. “I’ve never seen any evidence on chain of a double spend.”

44. “People messing with chains that don’t work”

45. The WikiLeaks Failure

46. “Jimmy [Nguyen] is the master at explaining this stuff”

47. “Hi Kurt”

48. “All 21 million tokens where issued in Jan 2009. By me.”

49. “The data integrity problem is everywhere.”

50. The HTC Phone Incident

51. “Do you honestly believe that CW is Satoshi?” (BONUS 1/5)

52. ONTIER’s Notice of ‘Ownership’ in Financial Times (BONUS 2/5)

Read all about Faketoshi and the 1Feex address here.

53. “They dump the alt coin protocol forks” (BONUS 3/5)

Calvin Ayre is not wrong.

54. The story of Calvin Ayre and IBM Consulting. (BONUS 4/5)

55. “Just wondering, is anyone here still stupid enough to think that he’s not Satoshi, or is it just that you don’t like him?” (BONUS 5/5)

Well, how to explain this… 🤷‍♂️

The end. Thanks for making it this far, I hope you had a few good laughs!

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